The phone rang at work. Janelle was on the other end, and asked, "Do you have your pocket knife on you?"
"Of course I do. It won't do you much good until I get home."
"I don't need it. I'm just wondering where the one on the kitchen floor came from?"
"I'm sorry, what?"
"The pocket knife on the kitchen floor. You know, the one your three year old daughter used to cut open a box of granola bars and a bag of m&m's. Don't worry, after using it, she folded it up before leaving it on the floor."
"Does she have all her fingers still?"
"Yes. Stop leaving your pocket knives lying around."
"I didn't know I had any others besides mine. By the way, that is pure awesome!"
Monday, February 13, 2012
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Tools for Scoutmasters: The Bullying Circle
At a recent PLC meeting, we were discussing a recent development of bullying in our troop. We seem to have a perfect storm of
As a result, we've not been able to keep tabs on all of the boys, and have at times, left them to their own devices.
It is both fortunate and unfortunate that this is a new problem for us. Fortunate that we haven't had much of it in the past; unfortunate that we aren't greatly experienced in handling it.
So at PLC, our Scoutmaster came prepared with a handout on The Bullying Circle. It was a stroke of genius as it provided an instant framework for us to discuss bullying with the youth leaders. I highly recommend it. It is especially useful for visual learners, or any youths that do not process auditory information quickly.
In the course of our discussion, I asked the boys who in the troop they thought were the likely targets of bullying, or who were at most risk for being bullied. It didn't take them long to start giving names, and they were pretty accurate in their evaluation. I find it interesting that they can instinctively pick out which kids are at risk. What's more, they can usually identify the kids that are the bullies, the henchmen, the resisters, and all of the other roles. If you're a scout leader, use this to your advantage--your boys have a good idea of which kids need to be guarded and to which kids they should stand up.
Another way in which our Scoutmaster was able to relate the Bullying Circle to one boy was by placing fictional characters into the roles. For example:
Target - Neville Longbottom
Bully - Draco Malfoy
Henchmen - Crabbe and Goyle
Active Supporters - the Slytherins
Passive Supporter - Professor Snape
Disengaged Onlooker - The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws
Potential Witnesses - The Gryffyndors
Resisters - Harry, Hermoine, and Ron
- Lots of new, young scouts
- Not a lot of older, experienced scouts
- Insufficient adult presence to help the older scouts
As a result, we've not been able to keep tabs on all of the boys, and have at times, left them to their own devices.
It is both fortunate and unfortunate that this is a new problem for us. Fortunate that we haven't had much of it in the past; unfortunate that we aren't greatly experienced in handling it.
So at PLC, our Scoutmaster came prepared with a handout on The Bullying Circle. It was a stroke of genius as it provided an instant framework for us to discuss bullying with the youth leaders. I highly recommend it. It is especially useful for visual learners, or any youths that do not process auditory information quickly.
In the course of our discussion, I asked the boys who in the troop they thought were the likely targets of bullying, or who were at most risk for being bullied. It didn't take them long to start giving names, and they were pretty accurate in their evaluation. I find it interesting that they can instinctively pick out which kids are at risk. What's more, they can usually identify the kids that are the bullies, the henchmen, the resisters, and all of the other roles. If you're a scout leader, use this to your advantage--your boys have a good idea of which kids need to be guarded and to which kids they should stand up.
Another way in which our Scoutmaster was able to relate the Bullying Circle to one boy was by placing fictional characters into the roles. For example:
Target - Neville Longbottom
Bully - Draco Malfoy
Henchmen - Crabbe and Goyle
Active Supporters - the Slytherins
Passive Supporter - Professor Snape
Disengaged Onlooker - The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws
Potential Witnesses - The Gryffyndors
Resisters - Harry, Hermoine, and Ron
Trying to be more Christian (at least superficially)
Among all the talk in the news of whether or not Mormons are Christians, I did some thinking on the subject. It certainly isn't hard to imagine why other Christian faiths exclude Mormons from the Christian label. Among the several reasons, it occurred to me that in 30 years, I've never celebrated Advent, Epiphany, Shrove Tuesday, or any of the other traditional holidays.
That's about to change. Starting with Advent this year, I am going to celebrate as many of the traditional holidays as I can. I invite you to join me, especially if you've never experienced them yourself.
Advent starts on November 27th this year. Here are some resources on how to celebrate. If you happen to be a seasoned Advent celebrator, please share tips and advice. I'm sure I won't quite get it right the first time.
25 Ways to Celebrate Advent
The Definitive Guide to Advent and Christmas
Introducing Prayers and Customs of Advent and Christmas
Advent and Christmas Season (From Catholic.org)
That's about to change. Starting with Advent this year, I am going to celebrate as many of the traditional holidays as I can. I invite you to join me, especially if you've never experienced them yourself.
Advent starts on November 27th this year. Here are some resources on how to celebrate. If you happen to be a seasoned Advent celebrator, please share tips and advice. I'm sure I won't quite get it right the first time.
25 Ways to Celebrate Advent
The Definitive Guide to Advent and Christmas
Introducing Prayers and Customs of Advent and Christmas
Advent and Christmas Season (From Catholic.org)
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Friday, September 23, 2011
Beans, Beans, the Musical Fruit
One of my regular assignments with the scout troop is to meet with the boys assigned to do the food shopping for each trip and help them develop a proper shopping list. The idea is to get them to think about portions, amount, and cost so that we have enough food, but are not throwing tons of it away. It also helps control costs a little.
One of the food items that always haunts us is baked beans. The kids always want baked beans if they have hot dogs (it happens once or twice a year), and we always throw over half of what we prepare into the garbage.
On our most recent trip, we served brats and hot dogs for dinner. Naturally, baked beans were on the menu. As I talked with the boy buying the food, I made a point that we usually throw a lot of the beans away, so he should not buy 50 servings worth. Then I told him, "You don't need to buy the smallest cans, but two of the next size up would be okay." I had in mind a 28 oz can.
He showed up with two #10 cans of baked beans.
My newest assignment: compile a list of foods that we commonly purchase and catalog the size container that we recommend for purchase of each of these foods.
For the time being, I'd avoid camping near our troop.
One of the food items that always haunts us is baked beans. The kids always want baked beans if they have hot dogs (it happens once or twice a year), and we always throw over half of what we prepare into the garbage.
On our most recent trip, we served brats and hot dogs for dinner. Naturally, baked beans were on the menu. As I talked with the boy buying the food, I made a point that we usually throw a lot of the beans away, so he should not buy 50 servings worth. Then I told him, "You don't need to buy the smallest cans, but two of the next size up would be okay." I had in mind a 28 oz can.
He showed up with two #10 cans of baked beans.
My newest assignment: compile a list of foods that we commonly purchase and catalog the size container that we recommend for purchase of each of these foods.
For the time being, I'd avoid camping near our troop.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Scoutmaster vs. Mother Nature
"If someone in your raft goes into the water, they are your #1 priority." That made sense at the time. It turns out, the safety talk you receive before going onto a Class III river is packed of important information but entirely devoid of nuance. My commitment to take the guides entirely at their word in this matter was going to cost me.
In other matters, it would serve me well, however. Before you get in the water, they teach you some important actions you can take to keep your boat upright. If your raft is going to hit a rock, you need to "love the rock;" that is, you need to move to the side of the raft that will make contact with the rock. It may seem counter-intuitive, but if you lean away from the rock, the side that makes contact becomes light. As the water hits the rock, it responds by pushing up. When upward pressure of raft meets light side of raft, passengers are soon introduced to swimming.
"Whatever you do, don't stand up!" The worst thing that can happen to you in a river is foot entrapment. This happens when a foot becomes caught in an obstacle, preventing the person from floating down stream. The pressure of the current tends to force the person face down into the water. Drowning is the usual outcome of foot entrapment.
"If you do fall out of the raft, grab hold of the purple strap on the side of your boat." Presumably, the raft is going out of the rapids. If you're in the water, out of the rapids is definitely where you want to be. Also, holding on to the strap means you're close to help.
After the safety lecture, we were instructed to pick up our boats, carry them to the water, and get onto the river. RH, AH, JT, WG, and I stood up. AH and JT lifted the raft by the strap on their side, RH, WG, and I went for the strap on our side--but there was no strap. Alright, whatever; we lifted the boat up over our heads and walked down the trail.
It was a delightful day. The weather was warm enough, although a few degree more would have been nice. We approached the first rapid.
SPLASH
AH is in the water. JT grabs him, yanks him back in (JT is about three times the size of AH), and we're on our merry way. It was a good time to emphasize to everyone the importance of tucking your feet into the sides to help keep you in the raft.
Most of the trip was uneventful. It took a little while for me to figure out the movement of the raft with this group (it's always different depending on how strong the paddlers are and where they are placed in the boat), and so we went through some of the rapids backward. I actually enjoy doing the Class II rapids backward, even though the guides always yell at me about that.
At long last, we reach a rapid called Double Hydraulic. Unlike most of the other rapids, it doesn't have a creative name. Also unlike most of the other rapids, going in here can be really really bad (as opposed to just irritating and inconvenient). If you look at the above map of the rapid, you'll see that you enter the rapid from the left side and make a left turn before hitting the two hydraulics. It is recommended that you don't hit the rock at the entry point, but it isn't a big problem if you do so long as you keep your raft upright.
The water moves fast though, and as we approached the entry, it became clear to me that we were going to hit our left side on the rock. I jumped to the left side of the raft, joining JT and AH. RH and WG didn't join us. The left side of the raft lifted, RH and WG fell backward into the water, and AH was sort of catapulted over RH's head into the water. JT and I managed to hang on.
My mind started racing. Get them out of the water. As quickly as I could I stowed my paddle, crouched up in the middle of the raft, and looked for someone I might be able to reach. I found all three of the now-swimmers on the left side of the raft, and watched as RH disappeared into the first hydraulic. I started to move to try and get to a position where I could reach him when he came back up. I didn't think far enough ahead about the consequences of the raft hitting the hydraulic that had just swallowed RH and found myself in a cool, wet, and unfriendly to breathing environment. When my head resurfaced, I didn't have enough time to look for the boat before I saw the white wall marking the second hydraulic. Close my mouth, close my eyes, please don't hit a rock.
In case you're wondering, it's a lot quieter in the wall of water than it is in the last second before you go in. I was lucky enough to not hit any rocks going through. Very shortly after coming up, another raft was at my aid and pulled me in. I began to look around for the other rafters. I look upstream. There's JT in the raft finally making his way out. How the....whatever, he's fine. Soon, I found WG, and I caught a glimpse of AH. But where's RH. I started freaking out. Where's RH? Where's RH? Of course, no one is answering me. I keep looking back up to the rapid. Did he come out?
In retrospect, I realized that I was in shock. If I had taken a minute to calm down, I would have realized that RH was ahead of the raft in the water. He would have come out first, and would be down stream of me. Sure enough, he was three rafts down. As soon as I saw him, sanity returned.
I can't say as much for one unnamed passenger in the raft. He responded by going into a much heavier form of shock than I had. We took five minutes to try and warm him up and bring him back into his right mind. But for a while, he was insistent that he didn't want to continue. Fortunately, once he fought off the shock, he was back to his usual cheerful self and anxious to hit the next rapid.
RH was very kind, and chose to blame the outfitter for letting us take a raft that didn't have a strap on one side. When he went down, he had tried to grab the strap, which would have saved us a lot of trouble. But I do appreciate RH trying to place the blame elsewhere.
Initially, I tried to avoid taking the blame myself. In the end, however, I have to face it; I never gave the order to move to the left side when we hit the rock at the entrance. That one simple command would have kept the boat from tipping, kept RH and WG in the boat, and RH probably would have been able to keep AH from going in at that point. I wouldn't have gone in if I wasn't looking to rescue the swimmers.
End score in this round of Scoutmaster vs. Mother Nature:
Mother Nature, +1
Scoutmaster, -4 (one for each lost rafter)
My apologies to those I lost. I'm glad you're okay and I won't blame you if you never get into a raft with me again.
Tip for future rafters:
1) Inspect your raft before you leave. If it isn't properly equipped, request a different raft.
2) Give every order possible. It's better to be annoying and micromanaging than to go through what we just went through.
In other matters, it would serve me well, however. Before you get in the water, they teach you some important actions you can take to keep your boat upright. If your raft is going to hit a rock, you need to "love the rock;" that is, you need to move to the side of the raft that will make contact with the rock. It may seem counter-intuitive, but if you lean away from the rock, the side that makes contact becomes light. As the water hits the rock, it responds by pushing up. When upward pressure of raft meets light side of raft, passengers are soon introduced to swimming.
"Whatever you do, don't stand up!" The worst thing that can happen to you in a river is foot entrapment. This happens when a foot becomes caught in an obstacle, preventing the person from floating down stream. The pressure of the current tends to force the person face down into the water. Drowning is the usual outcome of foot entrapment.
"If you do fall out of the raft, grab hold of the purple strap on the side of your boat." Presumably, the raft is going out of the rapids. If you're in the water, out of the rapids is definitely where you want to be. Also, holding on to the strap means you're close to help.
After the safety lecture, we were instructed to pick up our boats, carry them to the water, and get onto the river. RH, AH, JT, WG, and I stood up. AH and JT lifted the raft by the strap on their side, RH, WG, and I went for the strap on our side--but there was no strap. Alright, whatever; we lifted the boat up over our heads and walked down the trail.
It was a delightful day. The weather was warm enough, although a few degree more would have been nice. We approached the first rapid.
SPLASH
AH is in the water. JT grabs him, yanks him back in (JT is about three times the size of AH), and we're on our merry way. It was a good time to emphasize to everyone the importance of tucking your feet into the sides to help keep you in the raft.
Most of the trip was uneventful. It took a little while for me to figure out the movement of the raft with this group (it's always different depending on how strong the paddlers are and where they are placed in the boat), and so we went through some of the rapids backward. I actually enjoy doing the Class II rapids backward, even though the guides always yell at me about that.
At long last, we reach a rapid called Double Hydraulic. Unlike most of the other rapids, it doesn't have a creative name. Also unlike most of the other rapids, going in here can be really really bad (as opposed to just irritating and inconvenient). If you look at the above map of the rapid, you'll see that you enter the rapid from the left side and make a left turn before hitting the two hydraulics. It is recommended that you don't hit the rock at the entry point, but it isn't a big problem if you do so long as you keep your raft upright.
The water moves fast though, and as we approached the entry, it became clear to me that we were going to hit our left side on the rock. I jumped to the left side of the raft, joining JT and AH. RH and WG didn't join us. The left side of the raft lifted, RH and WG fell backward into the water, and AH was sort of catapulted over RH's head into the water. JT and I managed to hang on.
My mind started racing. Get them out of the water. As quickly as I could I stowed my paddle, crouched up in the middle of the raft, and looked for someone I might be able to reach. I found all three of the now-swimmers on the left side of the raft, and watched as RH disappeared into the first hydraulic. I started to move to try and get to a position where I could reach him when he came back up. I didn't think far enough ahead about the consequences of the raft hitting the hydraulic that had just swallowed RH and found myself in a cool, wet, and unfriendly to breathing environment. When my head resurfaced, I didn't have enough time to look for the boat before I saw the white wall marking the second hydraulic. Close my mouth, close my eyes, please don't hit a rock.
In case you're wondering, it's a lot quieter in the wall of water than it is in the last second before you go in. I was lucky enough to not hit any rocks going through. Very shortly after coming up, another raft was at my aid and pulled me in. I began to look around for the other rafters. I look upstream. There's JT in the raft finally making his way out. How the....whatever, he's fine. Soon, I found WG, and I caught a glimpse of AH. But where's RH. I started freaking out. Where's RH? Where's RH? Of course, no one is answering me. I keep looking back up to the rapid. Did he come out?
In retrospect, I realized that I was in shock. If I had taken a minute to calm down, I would have realized that RH was ahead of the raft in the water. He would have come out first, and would be down stream of me. Sure enough, he was three rafts down. As soon as I saw him, sanity returned.
I can't say as much for one unnamed passenger in the raft. He responded by going into a much heavier form of shock than I had. We took five minutes to try and warm him up and bring him back into his right mind. But for a while, he was insistent that he didn't want to continue. Fortunately, once he fought off the shock, he was back to his usual cheerful self and anxious to hit the next rapid.
RH was very kind, and chose to blame the outfitter for letting us take a raft that didn't have a strap on one side. When he went down, he had tried to grab the strap, which would have saved us a lot of trouble. But I do appreciate RH trying to place the blame elsewhere.
Initially, I tried to avoid taking the blame myself. In the end, however, I have to face it; I never gave the order to move to the left side when we hit the rock at the entrance. That one simple command would have kept the boat from tipping, kept RH and WG in the boat, and RH probably would have been able to keep AH from going in at that point. I wouldn't have gone in if I wasn't looking to rescue the swimmers.
End score in this round of Scoutmaster vs. Mother Nature:
Mother Nature, +1
Scoutmaster, -4 (one for each lost rafter)
My apologies to those I lost. I'm glad you're okay and I won't blame you if you never get into a raft with me again.
Tip for future rafters:
1) Inspect your raft before you leave. If it isn't properly equipped, request a different raft.
2) Give every order possible. It's better to be annoying and micromanaging than to go through what we just went through.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
The Magic of Doing
I just finished reading Girls Will Be Girls by JoAnn Deak. Fantastic book, by the way.
As you can tell, I'm trying to bolster my confidence about being a father of two girls1. I feel pretty good right now. This is a product of a) I'm doing most of the things that Deak said a father of a 3-year old should be doing, and b) 3-year old girls are a lot easier to get right than the 8-18 year old girls. Still, I'm glad I'm reading this now and getting ready for the harder years.
One thing I wanted to share that really resonated for me was in the last chapter. I suspect Deak put it in the last chapter so that it would be easily recalled. Translation: this might be important.
She talks about the inherent needs girls have for competence, confidence, and connectedness. What's the best way to develop all of these attributes? Doing stuff!
The stuff can be just about anything. Sports, arts, literature, service, cooking, camping, tutoring, civic groups, school newspapers...the list goes on and on. The key is to do stuff frequently and do a variety of it. As the girls get older, they tend to gravitate toward their favorite activities, but it's this initial push of trying something, experiencing it, and improving at it while sharing the experience with others that builds those three C's.
Why does this resonate with me? I see this same principle in action with my boy scouts. I talk with the older scouts at least once a year (when the new group of scouts is about to come in), and as often as I think is necessary, about their responsibility to protect the self confidence in the younger boys. I remind them that any criticism or bullying from them can cause great damage to a young boy's self confidence, and it can take years to repair the damage.
Luckily, the boys take this message very seriously and engage with the younger boys in very positive ways. They teach them how to do the basic scout skills, play various games, etc. Once they get these boys involved, you see drastic and rapid changes in the younger boys. It may seem silly, but the transformation really starts to become apparent about the first time that a boy can take down a tent without any instruction. It's simple, but it's accomplishment; and it starts the process of thinking I can learn this.
If you look at a group of boys who joined scouting together, you can see a clear difference in confidence between the boys who have been on 8 - 10 campouts and those who have been on 2 - 3. The ones that have done things are far more confident.
It's easy for me to frame this in terms of scouting--it's what I'm most familiar with. But remember, Girls Will Be Girls made the observation about girls. I see the same principle with boys. There's no reason to think that this doesn't extend to adults. Throughout our lives we should be working on being more competent, confident, and connected people. So let's all get out and do something.
1 This was a bit of a gamble. I have heard a number of times that parenting books will just tell you all the things you aren't doing right, thus diminishing your confidence as a parent. Not so with Girls Will Be Girls. Even if you don't have girls, you should read this one.
As you can tell, I'm trying to bolster my confidence about being a father of two girls1. I feel pretty good right now. This is a product of a) I'm doing most of the things that Deak said a father of a 3-year old should be doing, and b) 3-year old girls are a lot easier to get right than the 8-18 year old girls. Still, I'm glad I'm reading this now and getting ready for the harder years.
One thing I wanted to share that really resonated for me was in the last chapter. I suspect Deak put it in the last chapter so that it would be easily recalled. Translation: this might be important.
She talks about the inherent needs girls have for competence, confidence, and connectedness. What's the best way to develop all of these attributes? Doing stuff!
The stuff can be just about anything. Sports, arts, literature, service, cooking, camping, tutoring, civic groups, school newspapers...the list goes on and on. The key is to do stuff frequently and do a variety of it. As the girls get older, they tend to gravitate toward their favorite activities, but it's this initial push of trying something, experiencing it, and improving at it while sharing the experience with others that builds those three C's.
Why does this resonate with me? I see this same principle in action with my boy scouts. I talk with the older scouts at least once a year (when the new group of scouts is about to come in), and as often as I think is necessary, about their responsibility to protect the self confidence in the younger boys. I remind them that any criticism or bullying from them can cause great damage to a young boy's self confidence, and it can take years to repair the damage.
Luckily, the boys take this message very seriously and engage with the younger boys in very positive ways. They teach them how to do the basic scout skills, play various games, etc. Once they get these boys involved, you see drastic and rapid changes in the younger boys. It may seem silly, but the transformation really starts to become apparent about the first time that a boy can take down a tent without any instruction. It's simple, but it's accomplishment; and it starts the process of thinking I can learn this.
If you look at a group of boys who joined scouting together, you can see a clear difference in confidence between the boys who have been on 8 - 10 campouts and those who have been on 2 - 3. The ones that have done things are far more confident.
It's easy for me to frame this in terms of scouting--it's what I'm most familiar with. But remember, Girls Will Be Girls made the observation about girls. I see the same principle with boys. There's no reason to think that this doesn't extend to adults. Throughout our lives we should be working on being more competent, confident, and connected people. So let's all get out and do something.
1 This was a bit of a gamble. I have heard a number of times that parenting books will just tell you all the things you aren't doing right, thus diminishing your confidence as a parent. Not so with Girls Will Be Girls. Even if you don't have girls, you should read this one.
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