I've noticed in my life what seems to be a common axiom in the LDS faith--young, recently married couples are great speakers. Whereas they recently managed to successfully exit the dating pool and enter married life obviously means they have exceptionally valuable input into how to be happy and successful members of society, so we should all be eager to take part of their wisdom.
The first thing that comes to mind is an anecdote (perhaps fictional) of a young bride who "reportedly said to her mother on her wedding day, 'Oh, Mom, I’m so happy! I’m at the end of my troubles.'
"'Yes, dear,' replied the wise mother, 'but which end?1'"
That pretty well sums up how I feel about newlywed speakers. Far too often, it feels like their big insight is on how to snag that special someone and fall in love. Having done that, life is all roses now and we will live out the rest of our days in peace and happiness.
GAG!
With all due respect to those who haven't found the spouse they are seeking, getting married is a lot easier than being married2. It's easy to put on your best face and show off your strengths when you're dating. It's hard (and unrealistic) to keep up that image once the spouse is living with you.
So I guess it does rub me the wrong way when I feel like we're being told that if we just make ourselves the kind of person someone would want to marry, then we'll find happiness (through marriage). What about something more sound like, oh I don't know, being the kind of person you want to be because it makes you happy to be that person? Happiness isn't dependent on a spouse, after all; It's dependent on the individual. I suspect newlyweds are too caught up in the novelty of marriage to see the whole picture.
1 Bruce C and Marie Hafen, "Opposition, Joy, and the Nice Life," Ensign, December 1992.
2 Especially in a sub-culture where the average time from first meeting to marriage is seemingly less than 12 months.
